On the 2nd Amendment

Made for Times Like These

Howdy,

Let’s get into something I’m sure will piss off some of you - guns. As a Texan — I’m currently standing on a table while writing the first clause of this sentence—I was raised with a small arsenal. This isn’t hyperbole; a picture of my father’s gun collection is below.

Oh yeah, baby. We were ready for them, Russians! You never know when a Rooskie is going to show his face. Seriously, my father had a gun in every room in the house. Because, well, you never know.

As someone with numerous liberal friends, I can attest that they don’t get this—at all. They find guns scary. They don’t get it. They never grew up around them. Why? Why the hell do you need all of this?!?!?!

Old Will would simply pop off, “I’ve thought about this long and hard, and here’s your answer: It’s none of your damn business. I’ll exercise my gun rights how I want them.”

The truth is you don’t need all these guns, but people enjoy having them. My father loved to go out and shoot his guns. It’s part of Texas culture. He’d also hunt with them, for sure. But the 2nd Amendment wasn’t crafted so I could shoot Bambi. It was designed to protect yourself from a tyrannical government.

This is the point in an argument with my liberal friends that they would likely say, “Oh yeah, you’re going to defeat the US military with some rifles and handguns? How are you going to take down an F-16?”

It’s a silly response, considering the Taliban just humiliated the United States military with nothing more than small arms and some bomb-making skills. So, yes, I can protect myself from da government with my weapons. I cannot defeat the government alone, but some like-minded friends and I surely could make a stand.

Before we go any further, let me stipulate that “gun violence” is a horrible menace in American society. And the amount of guns certainly plays a role. I’m here for properly constructed Red Flag laws. However, I’m afraid I have to disagree with most gun control advocates on anything past that.

Sorry.

I know your arguments very well. I’m not going to regurgitate them all, but “common sense gun control” is anything but. I’m not in favor of banning AR-15s because they are barely used in homicides. In 2019, there were 14,000 homicides, and only 364 were committed with rifles—not just AR-15s—but any rifles. These are not automatic rifles; they are semi-automatic. The M-4 that I carried in Iraq and Afghanistan was a spray-and-pray type of weapon. They are not the same, even if they look similar.

But that’s not the point. The gun debate has many facets, and I’m happy to have them with anyone as long as you come correct. None of this “You don’t care about my child nonsense” that I’ve heard from too many liberal friends. Just because I disagree with you on the 2nd Amendment doesn’t mean I’m not disgusted by the amount of “gun violence.”

Point of Privilege: I don’t have an AR-15. It’s not my jam. I have a Mossberg 12 gauge tactical shotgun. I’m not a great shot. And if you need to kill someone in a pinch, nothing beats a shotgun. It’s a great weapon. Point and shoot—and you will not miss, no matter how scared you are.

There are a lot of decent arguments for curtailing gun rights, and I’m not going to knock them all down here. What I want to say is this: if you think I’m going to unilaterally disarm with Donald Trump close to the White House, then you’re on crank.

I don’t know if you’ve seen some of his supporters, but let me remind you about them.

So, no, I will not allow the government to control my access to guns because these people are totally insane. You might think this is the reason why people shouldn’t have guns, and we can have that argument at another time. However, you won’t disarm this group of people anytime soon.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the former President tried to conduct a coup. If that’s not the best argument in favor of the 2nd Amendment, I don’t know what is. I live in a somewhat red state, and if Trump loses, I don’t trust a single one of these people with the safety of my family.

Zero.

You can craft the most perfectly worded response to this, and my argument will remain the same: The lovely Charity and my daughter come first. And I know how to protect them with my weapons, thank you very much.

Moreover, I don’t know if you know this, but we’re going throw a little bit of a spike in Jew-hatred in this country. Jews are being attacked across this country for nothing more than wearing a kippah. This is not the time for members of the tribe to unilaterally disarm or put our trust in the hands of the government.

No thanks. I’ll pass.

Perhaps in about five years, when this blip in American life has receded, we can have another round of gun control debates. I’m happy to have them with anyone.

But let me be very clear: we are on the precipice of wide-scale violence in this country. Those in favor of authoritarianism are well-armed and have expressed disdain for those who are against them. They are using the rhetoric of war.

I know when people want to kill me. I know when they want to harm my friends and family. I’ve seen that look before in Iraq and Afghanistan. And these people have that look.

The 2nd Amendment is the tool I need to protect my family from lunatics bent on ushering in a new illiberal era. You may not want to prepare yourselves. That’s fine—your call. But I suggest you do because there’s violence on the horizon. And I plan on being ready to defend my family.

Until next time.