Howdy,
Go Chiefs!
Half my readership comes from Kansas, so I’m not above playing for clicks and follows, my dear friends. GCV isn’t big enough (yet) to not gratuitously play to its fanbase (over 100+ subscribers!).
Let’s talk about the military. Oh, that wonderous institution full of unique, patriotic people stuck in the slowest, most arcane bureaucracy ever constructed. The behemoth known as DoD truly boggles the mind.
This week, the Air Force, mired in a recruiting crisis of its own making, rolled out the Voluntary Retired Return to Active Duty program, or VRRAD, for those down with the lingo. VRRAD allows retired military officers and senior enlisted a chance to return to active duty. And what is the incentive for such a big move?
Now, I know tons of retirees. Some of them miss things about the military—the people, for one. But I don’t remember a single one who wants to go back. Not one. I’m sure they’re out there, but I seriously question their mental health for entertaining such a thought.
I’m one month into retirement, and I LOL every time I remember how stressed I was over retiring.
Retired life is AMAZING. I wake up, help my wife get our daughter ready for school, go to the gym, run some errands, and then read and write for 4 hours.
So the Air Force wants me to come back to active duty and shun this for . . . God and Country?
Hello, self-awareness, my old friend.
My Facebook and Twitter feeds are full of retirees LOLing this latest bank shot to help ease the retention crisis.
The military needs to do many things to fix recruiting and retention. Admitting we got our asses kicked in Afghanistan is a critical part of this equation.
However, talent management is another enormous issue—one of the biggest reasons I retired at precisely 20 years.
First, let me start by saying that I had a solid career. I’m proud of my deployments. I got to be a Squadron Commander. Those are some pretty impressive accomplishments.
However, I was never going to be a general officer. And thank G*d for that, because I would’ve been awful. Ugh. I’m not much of a company man (if you haven’t picked up on that vibe). I’m too much of a misanthrope and contrarian to rise too far in such a restrictive environment.
I almost certainly would’ve made O-6, but I wouldn’t have even been an elite-level O-6. Not all O-6s are made the same. Some are being groomed for GO, and others won’t quite make it but still command at higher echelons.
Regardless, I still wanted to serve. The Air Force had other plans for me.
Now, it is not all of the Air Force’s fault. I made some mistakes along the way, which I will lay out.
But if the Air Force wants to bring back retired officers, perhaps it shouldn’t push so many out?
Let me explain.
A year into command (2022), and I was smoked. I had gone from (another) year-long deployment to Afghanistan to command. In charge of 240 Airmen conducting ops inside a very crazy work center. It took its toll. Add the Afghanistan NEO and the work I (voluntarily) chose to do, and I knew I wanted something else.
So, I decided I wanted to be an ROTC instructor. I would’ve been a great one. I’m confident in that. I probably would’ve made O-6 during my 3-year command ROTC tour. Following that, I would’ve liked to have done one more military diplomat gig, probably as a Senior Defense Official at a Defense Attaché Office in some Embassy. I would’ve been good at that, too.
So, I took the off-ramp instead of trying to angle for something bright and shiny. ROTC isn’t a job that people pining for strategic positions go for. It’s a fine job. It’s important. But you’re not going to be an elite-level O-6 doing it.
That was fine with me.
I still had more to give.
So, I applied for that gig. I made the candidate list for possible positions out of a couple hundred applicants. Then, I was chosen for a solid job in TEXAS.
I accepted it immediately. My family was ecstatic. We started making plans.
Then, my career field manager emailed me weeks after I accepted the position and told me they couldn’t release me because there were more critical jobs for Middle Eastern foreign area officers.
I was pretty upset! Furious. Nearly homicidal.
But, my CFM assured me there would be good gigs that I would like. Assured me.
If I had done better networking throughout my career, I would’ve used my informal networks to get me what I wanted. That was my fundamental mistake: I didn’t network. I should’ve. I didn’t because I hate doing it (I’m finally doing it now, so why don’t you go ahead and get off my back about it).
Then, the jobs list came out, and no jobs were listed. 0. NONE.
AGH.
My CFM was shocked. Oopsie! She assured me some other jobs that had nothing to do with my specialty would be good for me—famous last words.
About 48 hours after that bomb dropped, someone reached out to offer me a job inside the Embassy in Iraq.
Iraq.
Again.
Now, it was a fun job. Something I would’ve been very good at. I’m good in war zones. I thrive. I’m in my element. (Yes, I know it’s also bad for me, but you know, put that aside, homie).
I spoke to the lovely Charity about it. She wasn’t exactly happy about it. However, it was a job usually reserved for O-6s, so it was a good gig. I would learn a lot. And working in embassies is fantastic, especially if you want to be in the middle of the action.
So, I agreed. Yep. I decided to do a seventh deployment. After returning from Baghdad, I would have spent 5 1/2 years in Iraq and Afghanistan. That officially qualifies me for an extra set of steak knives.
The lovely Charity would then move to Wichita with her amazing parents. We would’ve rendezvoused somewhere else - maybe DC or maybe another Embassy?
They told me they would take care of me!
Then, two weeks later, after I received the official assignment notification, I was told my job was no longer available.
Yep.
Why? Because the Colonel’s group objected to an O-5 serving inside the billet. They wanted to go with an O-6 without ANY Middle East experience. Now, he’s probably a badass and did a stellar job. I’m just sayn’—this is kind of my thing.
Instead, they offered me . . . Algeria.
Yep. Algeria. I don’t speak Arabic. I don’t know anything about that country. Further, it was a job for a Major, not for a Lieutenant Colonel (harumph!).
While I was thinking about what to do — and this is not a joke — they returned with the Iraq job again!
To my superior’s credit, they tried to unfuck this shit show. God bless them; they called my CFM directly. But the level of incompetence even staggered them — and these were career military officers with nearly 50 years of experience between them.
After this gigantic clusterfuck, I decided I couldn’t trust the military with my family and decided to retire.
Again. I was nothing special. I would have been just another O-6.
But I wanted to serve—and, you know, maybe be treated with dignity and respect, considering I spent 4 1/2 years in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Anyway, I lay this sad little tale out because the military wouldn’t be in this position if it did more to improve its talent management/personnel side of the house. Not all career fields are as incompetent as mine was, but most have serious problems—across the services.
Life in the military isn’t exactly easy, so getting better at this side is very important. I moved 14 times in 20 years. 14. Being a spouse of a servicemember is very difficult. Incredibly difficult. Good luck with your career unless you can work remotely or work in healthcare or education. Ditto for children. They move schools constantly. It’s hard on them. Very.
And the Air Force wants to me to return to active duty after tasting stability for the first time in 20 years? And my incentive is . . . nada.
LOL.
So, what would it take for me to enter the VRRAD?
Easy. I’ll take a promotion to O-6, a job at an ROTC detachment, and then a job as a Senior Defense Official at an Embassy.
How does that sound?
Your move, Air Force.
Until next time.
Military service in general and especially deployments take a huge toll on families. For 20 years Pops and I had many sleepless nights, worried, and in the back of our minds were always anxious about the "knock on the door". We rarely discussed it out loud, it became the unspoken condition, Pops kept a stiff upper lip about it because he tried to comfort me and that was him. I finally learned to handle it by becoming a veteran advocate, taking action to help veterans. We hugely missed having you around at birthdays, holidays, and family gatherings. Of course we were beyond proud, but the toll on parents is real. We endured ...but the cost for you was tremendous. It's amazing to me that people don't understand that and the military rarely acknowledges it. It is a small factor in why many families no longer are recommending military enlistment to family members. Since military service has been a family affair for many decades, it is a contributing factor in the services not making their enlistment numbers. The backstory on your career handling by the AF is stunning, and a sad commentary on their lack of awareness of the impact of that on people's lives.
I never knew so much of this. It is for sure their loss. Let’s see what they do. I think by the time they decide you’ll really be into retirement.