Howdy,
I will be out all of next week. I’m heading out to the woods to finish up my memoirs. I’m not abandoning you! Our new episodes of Shoulder-to-Shoulder drops on Tuesday and our first episode of Stories from My Brothers: Tales of the Afghan Security Force will drop a little later next week.
See you guys on 20 May!
Nobody loves you like your momma, folks. Be a good son or daughter and tell your momma you love them this weekend. They deserve it.
For the last three years, I've watched the lovely Charity raise our daughter, and her skills floor me. It's just amazing watching my wife care for our little girl. She's a pro. I'm taking her out this weekend for a special date night on Sunday. I've planned a surprise date with the help of some of her friends. I'm calling in the artillery for fire support.
Mommas never give up. I learned that by listening to Gold Star Mother (GSM? - let's go with it) Holly Higgins Staudacher. Her story is one of resilience, grief, and determination. The show will drop on Tuesday. It's a tearjerker. I cried more than Kate K, which is becoming a running trend on our new show.
I saw many similarities between Holly and my momma, Dr. Katherine Selber (Hi, Mom). My mother turned all of the anxiety of my six deployments into something tangible. She built Texas State University's nationally renowned student-veteran program. It's remarkable what she built.
Throughout 1500 days in Iraq and Afghanistan, my mom watched from afar as I repeatedly volunteered for the most dangerous assignments. If you raise your hand repeatedly to go downrange near the fighting, the military will happily oblige. Funny, huh?
My mother, born in rural Mississippi, became a Texas transplant during college, earning degrees from the University of Texas and the University of Houston. She's the acting Director of the School of Social Work and a full professor. Throughout her stellar career, she's helped thousands of veterans transition from the military to her university. It's simply astonishing.
She also had to raise me. Yikes! Now, in my defense, I'm the most reasonable of the 3 Selber men. My father and older brother—-well, they're quicker to the gun!
Living with such onery men isn't for the faint of heart. I'm sure she became tougher because of it. My father called her the "Steel Magnolia." And that was a perfect descriptor. A woman of the South, she's both fierce and proper, a deadly combination that can take people back when they trip over a red line.
She and my father had an incredible love story. He was larger than life. He built a multi-million-dollar company from the ground up, but only with the support of my momma. Every morning, they would huddle to plan their latest moves. They loved each other intensely. My favorite memory was watching them dance at my cousin's wedding. They were the dance floor stars (an admittedly low bar).
Yet, she's walked out from his larger-than-life shadow over the last few years. She's blazed her path, using the grief of his death as motivation to help others. Much like Holly, she built something out of all of the pain and anxiety from his death and my repeated deployments.
My parent's influence helps motivate me to build Grumpy Combat Veteran (GCV - another acronym-boom!). I have decades of experience in the military, but I'm also fortunate to have been raised by two wildly successful people.
My confidence built with humility is my parent's greatest gift. As they always told me, "Everyone put their pants on one leg at a time. Don't be scared."
On Mother's Day weekend, I give thanks for having such a fierce advocate by my side.
Until Next Time
A Mother's Overwatch:
Thank you for your kindness and gentle memories of our lives. That is the best Mothers Day gift you could ever give me. I am blessed to have such a wonderful son that remembers me, Pops, and all of our lives. You are blessed to now have the same in your own sweet little family.
And you are right --Mommas love you like no other. It's an unconditional love and we want nothing else but your happiness and success. As I have always told you, Mommas are the ones that when you call and say "hey mom I just killed someone" their answer is "hold on I'll be there with the shovel". At least that is the way we roll in the South. We are not perfect but we are fierce. And we Never quit.
About my veteran advocacy--I always figured that you were thousands of miles away so the thing I owed to ensure your safety was to help other veterans get through their healing. I looked around and saw that our campus had 10% veterans and military connected students out of 38,000 so my mission was clear. Truth be known I also was trying to bargain with God... Give me my son returning and I will help all of the others. It was indeed a ridiculous idea but still an example of what Mommas do. Every veteran I have ever sat across from became you and you taught me about every veteran. That is why I cannot quit because well you came back ok-- a little bruised and hurt but ok. So I must fulfill my side of the promise.
You are the best thing I ever had a hand in doing. You are indeed that confident and strong person who can do anything you take on. It is a blessing to see your life unfold and I will remain doing overwatch until they put me into the spot next to Pops. I have much awe and respect for the man you have become.
To appreciate and honor is the best gift ever.