My Advice to MAGA
Show Some Class
Hello, MAGA world,
I’m a double hater. Yep. I hate you guys. It’s ok.
I don’t really hate you guys because I don’t hate anyone for their political beliefs. Now, I will not speak with anyone who is anti-Semitic or pro-terrorist. It’s a sweet spot I’ve constructed for myself.
If you don’t want to read me because I voted for Kamala Harris, here is my reaction:
First, I’m going to be a gracious loser.
Congratulations. You fucking kicked our asses. I’m very impressed with what you were able to pull off. I’m dead ass serious. Whatever you think of President Trump—and you can read all about me and what I believe and (see above)—what he did to the Democratic Party is impressive.
Seriously, you won the popular vote even though a bunch of Never Trumpers, like me, told you it was a bad idea.
Fuck, you showed me. LOL.
Ok. Are you happy now? Seriously? I’m validating your happiness.
Okay, can we have a little conversation? I used to be a die-hard conservative when the dinosaurs roamed the earth. I’m not going to tell you why I voted for Harris because it’s not really important.
I know progressives can be annoying. Bruh, I get it. LOL.
That is a valid point right here. This is what I like to call performative fucking bullshit. And it really takes a set of brass balls to complain about Trump basically stealing the progs’ playbook and stuffing it right back up their motherfucking faces.
It’s a good troll, I must admit.
And fair enough. Politics ain’t bean bags, people. If you think this is too harsh, read about other countries' politics before everyone starts pearl-clutching.
Here is my deal with MAGA. You won. It’s your show now. Be careful what you wish for, of course, as I told any young occifer who said he wanted more responsibility and more shit put on his plate.
“I will gladly give all the rope you need to hang yourself, Lt.”
That being said, be a gracious winner. Now that you’ve spiked the football and partied like rock stars (it’s fun, I must admit), can you stop being such jack-assess?
Seriously. Grow up a little? I hate David Hogg, too, but sometimes you guys don’t act much better. You understand that, right?
Anyway, MAGA, I don’t hate you. You’re the most successful American political movement of my lifetime. It’s fascinating to watch America change fundamentally before my very eyes. You took the state and decided to do what progs do: use the state to enforce your understanding of utopia.
Fair enough. I really think you will regret this little gambit, but I’ve been wrong before, and maybe I’m wrong now. Who knows?
So, please, grow up a little. Feel free to troll the libs; they troll you guys often in the New York Times, Washington Post, etc; they do it in long-form articles that nobody reads anymore.
And, by the way, perhaps put down your iPhone and pick up a book about all the great things Democrats did for this country. Democrats aren’t your enemies. They’re Americans.
As we speak, there is a progressive airman standing guard somewhere in the Middle East who personally hates Trump but upholds standards and keeps his dissent private. There are also transgender servicemembers who might get the boot. Now, perhaps you think they don’t belong in the service. That’s fine. But you do realize that when you kick these people out, then their families are going to suffer mightily—right?
TL;DR: Treat your political opponents with a little more dignity and class because if you want to Make America Great Again, restoring true bipartisanship would cement your legacy.
Until Next Time