[Archives] On The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Is the US Military the GOAT?

U.S. Air Force Airmen from the 720th Special Tactics Group out of Hurlburt Field, Fla., jump out of a C-130J Hercules aircraft during water rescue training above Choctawhatchee Bay, over the Destin coastline in Florida Oct. 3, 2007. The training is designed to enhance aerial ZoDIAC deployment and personnel recovery. The aircraft belongs to the 41st Airlift Squadron out of Little Rock Air Force Base in Arkansas.

Howdy,

I apologize for not writing yesterday. I know this has caused much discomfort for my diehard, loyal fan base. I’ll start doing push-ups, and you can let me know when I need to take a break.

Continue? Those don’t count? Oh, c’mon, I was in the Air Force, for G*d’s sake.

Thank you.

I’m currently in beautiful Memphis, Tennessee, visiting my cousins. Last night, we got wild and crazy! Woohoo! I was in bed by 9:30. Boom! We watched the Aggies beat Kentucky in basketball, all but cementing our ticket to the dance. Maybe we are a basketball school? Nah, in Mike Elko, I trust!

Anyway, on with the show.

---

Officer Training School cadets in OTS class 16-07 take the oath of office during their graduation parade at Maxwell Air Force Base, Alabama, June 17, 2016. For nine weeks, cadets are evaluated on their leadership potential, moral standards and academic strengths. (US Air Force photo by Melanie Rodgers Cox)

On Thursday, I listened to a few senior Air Force leaders speak at an Officer Training School (OTS—boom—acronym) ceremony that lasted two freakin’ hours! I’m always interested in the messages we convey to our young officers and enlisted personnel. The following critique isn’t intended to smear the speakers, who I will not identify. Platitidues and bromides are used throughout the force. Lord knows that I’ve provided my fair share.

Nevertheless, the first speaker, a full bird colonel, shouted (waaaaaaaayyyy toooo loudly) that everything must be done “WITH HONOR".” This is OTS’ motto: Always With Honor.

That’s a fine motto. Seriously. Honor is important. Before I rip this whole thing apart, let’s define our terms:

Here’s the Oxford Dictionary’s definition of honor:

1. high respect; great esteem.

2. adherence to what is right or to a conventional standard of conduct.

Raise your hand if you think the United States Air Force or the Department of Defense hits this lofty goal often.

If you do, let me share a brief excerpt from a story about some Afghan Air Force pilots.

“I stood shoulder to shoulder with my American allies for five years — but now they have forgotten us.”

Does this AAF pilot think the USAF always acts with honor? Who thinks the USAF provides a history of all the times we acted dishonorably for our cadets?

Me neither.

Perhaps that quote didn’t convince you. Here’s a little photo that might.

There’s nothing more honorable than cutting a deal with an enemy that killed ~2500 Americans and who is still allied with a group that conducted the deadliest attack in American history.

(If you want to read more about Al Qaeda in Afghanistan, I wrote a little something about it: here)

So maybe it’s more like “Mostly with Honor.”

Next up at the podium was a prototypical AF General Officer. He was short, fit, and bald. Straight from central casting, he walked like he had conquered the world.

Now, he gave an interesting speech that centered on his assertion that the USAF and the US military are the Greatest of All Time (GOAT—boom—non-military acronym—triple points).

The “Always With Honor” motto is understandable. I get it. However, the assertion that the USAF or the US military is the GOAT is laughable. I believe we are the world's most powerful and well-resourced military.

However, how did we do in Iraq and Afghanistan?

In both wars, we struggled mightily (to put it mildly) to defeat multiple insurgent groups with no armor, air force, artillery, etc. In Iraq, we finally figured it out, only to leave and then recommit after ISIS became a terror state. The Iraqi Security Force finally defeated them, but not without significant support from the USAF. In Afghanistan, the Taliban and Al Qaeda completely humiliated the US and NATO.

Don’t believe me:

Here’s a happy little picture of them riding on an MRAP. Thanks to the equipment that was left behind, they currently field one of the strongest militaries in the region.

The problem with saying we’re the GOAT constantly — and I’ve heard it throughout my career—is that it breeds cockiness. It breeds a cocksure attitude that never admits problems. If you think you’re the GOAT, then why would you ever admit that the Taliban and Al Qaeda defeated you?

To the GO’s credit, he did implore cadets to ask tough questions.

How many people think the military is an institution that handles internal dissent well?

Yeah. It doesn’t.

Last year, I spoke at a conference. I was in service dress, looking sharp (as always, baby!), and I walked up on stage and said something readily apparent to all sentient beings: We lost the war in Afghanistan.

Everyone was shocked. This isn’t because I’m some brave truth-teller. I lied and embellished throughout my military career (more on that later). I did this because I’m tired of the lies, and I can no longer be a part of them. Someone needs to stand up and say the Emperor wears no clothes.

---

This problem runs deep inside the US military. We instruct our young enlisted and officers to lie repeatedly throughout their careers. Every servicemember has yearly performance reports and often gets medals and awards that require lengthy, detailed write-ups.

A few months ago, I took a trip down memory lane and read some of these relics of my past excellence. They were ridiculous. All of them — everyone — was at the very least embellished, especially those I received downrange.

I often say (the lovely Charity shakes her vigorously) that if half of our medal write-ups from Iraq and Afghanistan were accurate, we would’ve won the wars long ago.

Now, this isn’t the fault of the individual servicemember. They are caught in a system that breeds this stuff. You’re competing with everyone, so you’re trying to get ahead and make that next meritocratic step in your long journey to excellence. However, in the process, everyone makes stuff up.

Some of the write-ups are hysterical. I read an award package that tied a Lt’s work at a stateside conference to 50 terrorists killed downrange. Wait? What?

Now, you may be thinking, bruh, this is silly nonsense.

And I get it. Who cares? However, I contend that by encouraging our young troops to do this, we establish a system where lies are commonplace. Now, add in a healthy dose of GOAT, GOAT, GOAT, and you get a culture that refuses to take a critical look at itself.

---

The November 1999 public execution of Zarmeena, an Afghan woman convicted of murdering her husband in cold blood with an axe while he was asleep. The execution was carried out by the Taliban inside the Ghazi stadium in Kabul, Afghanistan. It has been filmed with a hidden camera by members of the Revolutionary Association of the Women of Afghanistan and was aired by almost all major TV channels around the world. The photo is taken from the video film so higher resolution does not exist. This frame was taken at the exact moment the lethal shot was fired, as can be seen by the grey-brown plume to the right of the woman from the bullet striking the ground. (Commons)

The Afghanistan war was lost for so many reasons. Historians and fools like myself will spend decades deciphering everything that went wrong. There’s a lot to wade through. But in the end, I genuinely believe that, at the core, the system failed because it is a system that thinks too highly of itself and breeds hyperbole.

How can we expect servicemembers to be frank about a war if they cannot be honest about their performance?

Here’s a better motto: Always With Humility.

We should be hammering that into our young troops’ minds. Be humble. You’re not the GOAT. Our adversaries don’t think so. We just got humiliated in a war that was started by an attack on the homeland.

That’s one of the main reasons why I go on and on about Afghanistan. We are robbing our young servicemembers of the truth they will need to fight against near-peer adversaries like Russia and China. In essence, we cannot afford to lie to ourselves anymore. We could afford to lose in Afghanistan and muddle on in Iraq, but that is a luxury we no longer have.

We should be hammering this into our young leader's heads. They will need a dose of humility to defeat our enemies. Without humility, they will fail just like I did—and we cannot afford that.

Until next time.